SIAN SIAN SIANNNNN! Hais, hubby is treating me so coldly now! x( he says he isnt but if how he`s treating me now is not called cold, i really dunno what cold means. Have been thinking about all our memories in the past, be it happy or sad, but just thinking about it really makes my heart ache. Almost cried in school today but really fought hard to keep it back. Hais! I really miss the old times we had. I really miss everything, no matter wad i say, no matter wad i do, i`ll never be able to get back those times, will i? Have tried telling him many times about how i feel, but instead of getting assured by him of his love, i`ll get scolded for thinking too much. I must admit that im over possesive, but i`ve lost him once, i`m really afraid to lose him again. Nothing can describe the pains i went through those days i`ve been through without him. I have been keeping everything inside me, and not telling him what my im feeling because im afraid of getting scolded by him. So what if i was just thinking too much? Couldnt he at least comfort me? I cry for him everynight and i dont think i can stand the pain any longer. 'Just give up' many people have told me, how am i suppose to give up our r/s, its not one month we`re talking about, its a ONE year r/s, how am i suppose to end everything just like that? There are many things holding me back, and im still with him for the main reason that i still love him. I really dunno what will happen to me without him by my side. Cant you* see how impt you are to me now? Hais, i really want the past we have back. We were so so loving, dont you miss it too? Hais.. Do you know that if im sad because of you or angry with you, just ONE msg or a call of concern from you can really brighten up my day? Everytime my phone vibrates with a msg or a call, i always hope its you? I really need you alot, dont you understand? Its not the 3 words i love you i wanna hear or see, i wanna feel it from you. Whats the use of those 3 words if its said without meaning it? I can always say i love you but can dont mean it you understand what im trying to say here? Pls hubby, i dont need your time anymore, i just want your love, care and concern. I used to feel so secure with you, but now i dont. Why is it so? Hais.. NVM BAHS! x( Just typing my thoughts here. Hais, i just miss everything, i even miss the old you. =(